he thought i was a dude.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
