Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
