at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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