lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
