I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
