that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
