I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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