My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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