Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
