Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
