big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
fuck your aforementioned shoe
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
