Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
