I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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