I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
