I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
