Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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