i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The beer is more important than you right now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
