Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
