we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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