Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
