i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
