There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
