oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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