whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
