One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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