her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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