i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize