Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The air was thick with penises
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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