My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
