u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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