WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
this boner is exhausting
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
