Sry I called you an 8
I am spending my child support on dildos
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
