im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
