I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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