I want to make a zoo with you.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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