Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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