Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
