That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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