You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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