she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
