I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
