You're so nebulous sometimes
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
