dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
