we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
