Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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