maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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