I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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