She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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