im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
