i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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