it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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