He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I love having hate sex.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
