Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
