Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
