Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She told me I should be a condom model.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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